Today, on my way to work, I was re-reading "Celestine Prophecy" and thinking about the fourth insigt, talking about power struggle and how humans take each others energy in fight for the power.
One of the charaters, Robert Jensen, even had a specific method of getting a hold of someone's energy - first he would gain one's trust by acting as their friend, and then he would find something wrong with what they were doing and as soon as he would plant seeds of doubt in one's mind, it was easy to get the person to follow you. I can't tell you how many time it has happened to me so by now I have become very careful whenever I feel someone probbing into my life, trying to find a weak link.
My own mother is an expert at this method, even though she is not doing that consciously. I guess, what's important to remember is that most people do it unconsciously because it makes them feel empowered.
My mom had a thing of calling me and questioning me to see how i was doing. But instead of friendly "how are you", she would ask me specific questions and make comments leading me to re-think my existence, my circumstances and actions of those around me.
-"How are you, darling?" mom would ask "How's your job?"
-"Good. Everything is good. Want to hear a joke my manager told me?"
-"I wish, instead of telling you jokes he'd raise your salary" mom would say
-"Mom, do you even knopw how much I make? Have I ever complained about money?"
-"No, I don't know and no, you have not complained. Ever"
-"So why are you making such strange comments?"
And she would just laugh and proceed
-"How's Lisa?"
-"Good"
-"Has she called you today?" (???)
-"Actually, no. Why do you ask?"
-"No reason... I guess she is spending time with her OTHER friends... It's probably more fun for her"
-"What are you saying?"
-"Nothing. Has Roberto called you today?"
-"No"
-"yeah, I thought so... He probably find his MALE friends to be more fun. Or he simply forgotten about you..."
At this point I am getting really irritated and start shouting
-"Why are you so mean to me?!!" starts weeping my mom "I simply want to talk to you. I am feeling lonely and I figured why don't I call and talk to my LONELY daughter. I am so sad that your life didn't turn out well"
My life didn't turn out well??!! I have a career, job I love, fun, interesting friends, loving parents, an amazing sister, nice, spacious apartment, new car, closet full of designer labels, a whole bunch of exciting hobbies ranging from meditation to salsa dancing. Oh, and it was never hard for me to meet good men. Not to mention excellent health, good education, and many more other wonderful things. How is that a bad life???
-"Mom, I gotta go"
-"Wait, I just wanted to ask where is that boyfriend of yours?"
-"I don't know mom, I am not his mother nor a cop to keep track of his whereabouts. Sometimes I do my things and he does his. Separately."
-"He obviously does not love you. Otherwise he'd want to be with you every minute of the day. But of course not everyone gets to find someone special. Ok honey, I just wanted to see how were you doing. Bye now"
By then I am all shook up and I have nothing left to do but violently shut my phone closed and hurl it accross the room. Strangely my mom seems content and full of energy.
The conversation took up no more than 7 minutes but the difference between my state of mind before and after is drastic! before mom called I was feeling content, curled up on my couch in front of wide-screen TV with a glass of good wine and a good book. I was listening to the sound of falling rain drops outside, feeling wonderful. And now, after speaking to my mom, here I am, a nervous wreck, feeling abandoned by my friends and the guy I started seeing. I no longer think I have great friends and that I recently met a wonderful man, now all I can think about how he probably does not love me (even though how could he? We only went on a couple of dates so far and I, myself, not sure if he is someone I want to be with), and how my fiends prefer other company (while they could be either sleeping, or at the gym, or spending time with their family or significant others. Neither of which makes them less of a friend to me).
What has happened is that my mom, unconsciouly of course, found a weak link and drained my energy. Typical case on energetic vampire. She has been doing that since I was a child and only now I am starting to recognize that and come up with ways to deal with her negativity. I also learned that the only reason she does that to me because it makes her feel like a concerned loving parent and gives he strong energy boost. Unfortunatelly my mother never learned how to fill herself with energy without draining those around her, but it's not my fault and I should not have to pay for it.
Any energetic vampire is looking for weakness, a hole in your energy through which they could drain you, and if they don't find one, they will move on, so staying strong and staying connected to a source of infinite energy could really make a difference in dealing with such issues. When vampire is someone insignificant in one's life, one can always cut him/her out, but in most cases our vampires are the people close to the heart, the ones that are dear to us. So the only way is to protect your energy and keep yourself connected to the source.
One of excellent ways to protect your energy is imagining a bubble of light surrounding you, shielding you from those trying to deplete your energy. I imagine it every time my mom calls or visits. As I grow stronger and stay more connected, my mom has less and less power to upset me.
Another important point is that it's easy to see when someone trying to deplete your energy, but do we really notice when we ourselves are depleting energy of others?
Staying connected to the source helps us to maintain high energy level without the need to rob our loved ones of their energy. When you are feeling good about yourself, you feel empowered at all times
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