It is incredible how our thoughts materialize and how the Universe delivers us whatever we ask for.
Like the other day I was going over fall clothes for my son and washing and putting away into storage things he won't be wearing for a while and separating all the things he will not be wearing, so I decided to donate to charity those clothes. I posted on Facebook asking my friends if they know of a good local charity where I can donate baby clothes in a good condition and people sent me many responses but I have decided to go with Purple Heart. I searched google for local Purple Heart but their hours were not suitable for me to make a drop off, so i have decided to call them later and see if I can schedule something but I got busy and never did. I never told anyone about what I've decided either.
Two days later I got a card in the mail from ... Purple Heart saying that they will be on our street in 1.5 week to pick up things and whoever wants to donate needs to schedule a pickup online. I looked at the card and it said "Deliver by 09/19/11". And the day when I decided to contact Purple Heart was a Saturday 09/17/11. How amazing is that?
Friday, September 23, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Experiment with control dramas
Yesterday my mother visited us and I decided to use that as an opportunity for experimenting with protecting yourself from control dramas. My mom is the biggest interrogator I have known and every single visit she asks probing questions, trying to get to something my husband or myself are doing wrong as parents.
So in order to avoid irritation and aggravation I have decided to consciously send her energy the minute she walked in throught the door. I thought of her and went over in my mind everything I love about my mom, thinking how beautiful she is and how she keeps herself in a excellent shape in spite of her age, what a great sense of humor she has and how she always tries to do something nice for my husband and I. I saw her as a higher being and not an older grumpy woman and I almost physically could feel the air getting lighter around us.
Well, I must say, it really worked for my mom have not made a single negative comment and did not ask one single question in attempt to reveal anything negative that she could critisize.
It was a first time in a while that I didn't want to break windows after my husband took her to her next destination. I will definitely try the same thing next time I see her or even talk to her.
So in order to avoid irritation and aggravation I have decided to consciously send her energy the minute she walked in throught the door. I thought of her and went over in my mind everything I love about my mom, thinking how beautiful she is and how she keeps herself in a excellent shape in spite of her age, what a great sense of humor she has and how she always tries to do something nice for my husband and I. I saw her as a higher being and not an older grumpy woman and I almost physically could feel the air getting lighter around us.
Well, I must say, it really worked for my mom have not made a single negative comment and did not ask one single question in attempt to reveal anything negative that she could critisize.
It was a first time in a while that I didn't want to break windows after my husband took her to her next destination. I will definitely try the same thing next time I see her or even talk to her.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Control dramas and how to deal with them
There are 4 control dramas people use to get energy from others, 2 aggressive and 2 passive:
Interrogator - asks questions, probing into your life to find something wrong and criticize you for it
Intimidator - threatens you verbally and/or physically to get your energy
Aloof - plays coy and keeps away from people thus forcing them to struggle for your attention
Poor me - telling guilt-inducing stories, blaming others for your problems
The dramas are interconnected in the following way:
Interrogator == Aloof
Intimidator == Poor me
So interrogator creates aloof or another interrogator, and vice versa, and intimidator creates poor me or another intimidator.
For instance someone threatens you and you get scared and try to protect yourself by playing poor me, trying to get the intimidator to feel sorry for you or to feel guilty. obviously, playing aloof will not work when your safety is threatened with brute force. If guilting the intimidator does not work either, you are forced to reply with the same brute force as was brought against you, thus turning into intimidator yourself.
We develop our control dramas unconsciously, based on what we learned from our parents: interrogator parents produce aloof children, and aloof parents - interrogator children.
For example a friend of mine is interrogator - her parents are too busy with their lives and prefer not to communicate much with their daughter, being very aloof. So she had nothing left to do but interrogate them by asking questions and then finding something wrong with their replies to get some attention and energy from them. I, on the other hand am very aloof, I can spend hours in a room full of people without saying a word to anyone. My aloofness resulted from growing up with interrogator mother - she constantly asked me questions about my life and found strange pleasure in finding something wrong. So the only way for me not to get upset was not giving her any details and so the habit was formed. I started believing that the less people know about me, the less they can annoy me.
All four control dramas are harmful to us, as well as those around us. People surrounding us suffer when we steal their energy, and we, ourselves suffer because our control dramas do not allow us to stay connected to the source and follow our path.
Take for instance aloof drama - the aloof person will always keep missing important information by not letting people get near. So if you are aloof and someone on your path carries important message for you, you will shut them out and so they won't be able to deliver the message to you.
The only way to not be affected by control dramas is to learn to recognize them and bring them to consciousness. So if you are dealing with someone with a control drama who is trying to use it to steal your energy you need to recognize what type of drama they are using, then send them energy willingly, thus elliminating the need for them to compete for energy with you, and then bring their drama to consciousness y pointing it out to them. For example if someone telling you about bad things that happened to them and implies that it is your fault those things happened, you know you are dealing with poor me, and in order not to get pulled into their game by becoming intimidator or another poor me, you can say something like "Am I supposed to feel guilty?" or "I can't help feeling that you think I should be feeling guilty?", thus bringing their control drama to consciousness. Remember that control dramas are unconscious and the person guilting you can be completely unaware what they are doing to you. All they know they feel energized when doing what they are doing and they want to keep feeling good so they continue doing the same thing.
Now be prepared that the reaction of the person can be very unexpected and most likely they will not like you bringing their drama to consciousness.
Interrogator - asks questions, probing into your life to find something wrong and criticize you for it
Intimidator - threatens you verbally and/or physically to get your energy
Aloof - plays coy and keeps away from people thus forcing them to struggle for your attention
Poor me - telling guilt-inducing stories, blaming others for your problems
The dramas are interconnected in the following way:
Interrogator == Aloof
Intimidator == Poor me
So interrogator creates aloof or another interrogator, and vice versa, and intimidator creates poor me or another intimidator.
For instance someone threatens you and you get scared and try to protect yourself by playing poor me, trying to get the intimidator to feel sorry for you or to feel guilty. obviously, playing aloof will not work when your safety is threatened with brute force. If guilting the intimidator does not work either, you are forced to reply with the same brute force as was brought against you, thus turning into intimidator yourself.
We develop our control dramas unconsciously, based on what we learned from our parents: interrogator parents produce aloof children, and aloof parents - interrogator children.
For example a friend of mine is interrogator - her parents are too busy with their lives and prefer not to communicate much with their daughter, being very aloof. So she had nothing left to do but interrogate them by asking questions and then finding something wrong with their replies to get some attention and energy from them. I, on the other hand am very aloof, I can spend hours in a room full of people without saying a word to anyone. My aloofness resulted from growing up with interrogator mother - she constantly asked me questions about my life and found strange pleasure in finding something wrong. So the only way for me not to get upset was not giving her any details and so the habit was formed. I started believing that the less people know about me, the less they can annoy me.
All four control dramas are harmful to us, as well as those around us. People surrounding us suffer when we steal their energy, and we, ourselves suffer because our control dramas do not allow us to stay connected to the source and follow our path.
Take for instance aloof drama - the aloof person will always keep missing important information by not letting people get near. So if you are aloof and someone on your path carries important message for you, you will shut them out and so they won't be able to deliver the message to you.
The only way to not be affected by control dramas is to learn to recognize them and bring them to consciousness. So if you are dealing with someone with a control drama who is trying to use it to steal your energy you need to recognize what type of drama they are using, then send them energy willingly, thus elliminating the need for them to compete for energy with you, and then bring their drama to consciousness y pointing it out to them. For example if someone telling you about bad things that happened to them and implies that it is your fault those things happened, you know you are dealing with poor me, and in order not to get pulled into their game by becoming intimidator or another poor me, you can say something like "Am I supposed to feel guilty?" or "I can't help feeling that you think I should be feeling guilty?", thus bringing their control drama to consciousness. Remember that control dramas are unconscious and the person guilting you can be completely unaware what they are doing to you. All they know they feel energized when doing what they are doing and they want to keep feeling good so they continue doing the same thing.
Now be prepared that the reaction of the person can be very unexpected and most likely they will not like you bringing their drama to consciousness.
Monday, April 25, 2011
About forgiveness
Many people are struggling with forgiving those who are not sorry. It's the hardest thing to do when the offending person shows no remorse for their actions. The thing is, they do not need your forgiveness half as much as you do, for holding a grudge damages you more than it does anyone else.
The way to forgive a person who is not sorry is to think about what they have done to you and analyze it and figure out what good did their actions bring to you, how did it help to shape you into the person you are today.
Once you will see that whatever was done to you only forced you on the right track of your life and brought you a number of benefits, you will see how your anger and resentment against that person slowly disappearing.
The way to forgive a person who is not sorry is to think about what they have done to you and analyze it and figure out what good did their actions bring to you, how did it help to shape you into the person you are today.
Once you will see that whatever was done to you only forced you on the right track of your life and brought you a number of benefits, you will see how your anger and resentment against that person slowly disappearing.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Coincidence or awareness?
I started noticing that I often think of someone only to realize that that someone just sent me an e-mail or text message the moment I thought of them.
For instance today my husband took our son to an appointment and he was supposed to call me when they get out. I was busy at work and did not realize the time and that it has been over an hour past appointment time. My phone was on silent so I went to get it from my desk and saw that my hsband messaged me at 11:19, I looked at the clock and the time was 11:19! So he texted me as I was getting my phone from the desk drawer to check for his call. Then I saw a missed call from him at 11:17 - precisely when I thought of him and thought of checking my phone.
For instance today my husband took our son to an appointment and he was supposed to call me when they get out. I was busy at work and did not realize the time and that it has been over an hour past appointment time. My phone was on silent so I went to get it from my desk and saw that my hsband messaged me at 11:19, I looked at the clock and the time was 11:19! So he texted me as I was getting my phone from the desk drawer to check for his call. Then I saw a missed call from him at 11:17 - precisely when I thought of him and thought of checking my phone.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Surround yourself with positive glow
After talking to one of my friends few days ago, I started thinking about popsitive effect of good intentions. One person could give us something with a good intention, and just intention on its own is capable of improving quality of our lives. So just imagine for a second that you are surrounded by many well-meaning people who daily and hourly send you their positive energy and good intentions. Can you imagine how much impact that would make on the quality of your life.
Each one of us has people who irritate and upset them, whether intentionally or unintentionally, whether daily or once in a while. those people could be friends, family or coworker, or even complete strangers. We just never think about how much negative impact the company of those peopel have on us and how much good would come out of just letting those people go and not subject ourselves to their company.
Imagine having regular Sunday brunches with an aunt who constantly nagging you to have more children. Imagine being stuck in her small apartment Sunday after Sunday, listening to her going on and on about the things you are not comfortable with. After all it's you and not her, who will take responsibility and provide care for the children, so why would she keep on nagging? There is no answer to this question and there is nothing you can do to change her. But what you can do is stop coming to those Sunday brunches and instead go somewhere where you will feel much better.
If one positive thought could do wonders, imagine how many miracles would happen if you had 5, 10, 15 people who send you positive energy. The key is to surround yourself with positivity and completely shut out negativity and you will be able to accomplish anything, no limits.
So from now on I will do everything in my power to shut out the negative and will seek company of those souls that provide me with positive feedback I need, and in return I will shower them with positive energy. That's what I call fair exchange. The more they send, the more I will be able to give back and vice versa.
P.S. For years my husband and I subjected ourselves to a non-stop flow of negativity from a family member. We wanted to get away many times but never did - after all he is family. Now that we finally got away and cut all ties, I am slowly starting to feel liek a burden was lifted of my shoulders. Family or not, no one has the right to decrease quality of life for myself as well as my loved ones. I know we deserve better than that
Each one of us has people who irritate and upset them, whether intentionally or unintentionally, whether daily or once in a while. those people could be friends, family or coworker, or even complete strangers. We just never think about how much negative impact the company of those peopel have on us and how much good would come out of just letting those people go and not subject ourselves to their company.
Imagine having regular Sunday brunches with an aunt who constantly nagging you to have more children. Imagine being stuck in her small apartment Sunday after Sunday, listening to her going on and on about the things you are not comfortable with. After all it's you and not her, who will take responsibility and provide care for the children, so why would she keep on nagging? There is no answer to this question and there is nothing you can do to change her. But what you can do is stop coming to those Sunday brunches and instead go somewhere where you will feel much better.
If one positive thought could do wonders, imagine how many miracles would happen if you had 5, 10, 15 people who send you positive energy. The key is to surround yourself with positivity and completely shut out negativity and you will be able to accomplish anything, no limits.
So from now on I will do everything in my power to shut out the negative and will seek company of those souls that provide me with positive feedback I need, and in return I will shower them with positive energy. That's what I call fair exchange. The more they send, the more I will be able to give back and vice versa.
P.S. For years my husband and I subjected ourselves to a non-stop flow of negativity from a family member. We wanted to get away many times but never did - after all he is family. Now that we finally got away and cut all ties, I am slowly starting to feel liek a burden was lifted of my shoulders. Family or not, no one has the right to decrease quality of life for myself as well as my loved ones. I know we deserve better than that
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Whatever happens, happens for the best
Today I saw again, how everything that happens to us, happens for our own good, even if it does not seem that way at first.
Today I was late for my train and I was very upset since I knew I won't make it to work on time. So I had to wait at the train station and get on the next train.
When my train got to the next stop, a woman got in who told me how previous train stopped and everyone had to get off and wait in the cold for next one.
So if I made it to the earlier train I would have waited in the cold too and then would have to ride standing up because the train was full. And if that woman haven't told me, I would have never known. A lot of times we get upset at thing that happen to us and we never realized that when things don't go our way, it means we have avoided something worse
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Today I was late for my train and I was very upset since I knew I won't make it to work on time. So I had to wait at the train station and get on the next train.
When my train got to the next stop, a woman got in who told me how previous train stopped and everyone had to get off and wait in the cold for next one.
So if I made it to the earlier train I would have waited in the cold too and then would have to ride standing up because the train was full. And if that woman haven't told me, I would have never known. A lot of times we get upset at thing that happen to us and we never realized that when things don't go our way, it means we have avoided something worse
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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