How to find your path in life

Something interesting happened yesterday that made me think of Celestine Prophecy again and again. I remember reading that finding your path is easy - the path you need to tak will always look more beautiful and brighter in order to attract your attention. So yesterday I got a text message from a friend how she went on a date that turned out pretty bad - she hated the guy and didn't want to be there, but then she went to the bathroom to wash her hands and there was another girl in the bathroom wearing a very interesting skirt. My friend immediately because drawn to the skirt and, being rather extraverted person, she complimented the girl on a forementioned skirt. they got to talking and turned out the girl is into some sort of meditation and she invited my friend to attend this class. I recall my friend saying to me "I would never have spoken to her if I didn't like that skirt so much". So I told her about that chapter of Celestine prophecy and suggested that she should read it. Well, the same day she ordered all the books from the series and got started on Celestine Prophecy right away and got through first two chapters before going to bed. I am excitedly waiting to hear back from her about her further experiences.

Experiment with control dramas

Yesterday my mother visited us and I decided to use that as an opportunity for experimenting with protecting yourself from control dramas. My mom is the biggest interrogator I have known and every single visit she asks probing questions, trying to get to something my husband or myself are doing wrong as parents.

So in order to avoid irritation and aggravation I have decided to consciously send her energy the minute she walked in throught the door. I thought of her and went over in my mind everything I love about my mom, thinking how beautiful she is and how she keeps herself in a excellent shape in spite of her age, what a great sense of humor she has and how she always tries to do something nice for my husband and I. I saw her as a higher being and not an older grumpy woman and I almost physically could feel the air getting lighter around us.

Well, I must say, it really worked for my mom have not made a single negative comment and did not ask one single question in attempt to reveal anything negative that she could critisize.

It was a first time in a while that I didn't want to break windows after my husband took her to her next destination. I will definitely try the same thing next time I see her or even talk to her.

Control dramas and how to deal with them

There are 4 control dramas people use to get energy from others, 2 aggressive and 2 passive:

Interrogator - asks questions, probing into your life to find something wrong and criticize you for it

Intimidator - threatens you verbally and/or physically to get your energy

Aloof - plays coy and keeps away from people thus forcing them to struggle for your attention

Poor me - telling guilt-inducing stories, blaming others for your problems


The dramas are interconnected in the following way:

Interrogator == Aloof
Intimidator == Poor me

So interrogator creates aloof or another interrogator, and vice versa, and intimidator creates poor me or another intimidator.

For instance someone threatens you and you get scared and try to protect yourself by playing poor me, trying to get the intimidator to feel sorry for you or to feel guilty. obviously, playing aloof will not work when your safety is threatened with brute force. If guilting the intimidator does not work either, you are forced to reply with the same brute force as was brought against you, thus turning into intimidator yourself.

We develop our control dramas unconsciously, based on what we learned from our parents: interrogator parents produce aloof children, and aloof parents - interrogator children.

For example a friend of mine is interrogator - her parents are too busy with their lives and prefer not to communicate much with their daughter, being very aloof. So she had nothing left to do but interrogate them by asking questions and then finding something wrong with their replies to get some attention and energy from them. I, on the other hand am very aloof, I can spend hours in a room full of people without saying a word to anyone. My aloofness resulted from growing up with interrogator mother - she constantly asked me questions about my life and found strange pleasure in finding something wrong. So the only way for me not to get upset was not giving her any details and so the habit was formed. I started believing that the less people know about me, the less they can annoy me.

All four control dramas are harmful to us, as well as those around us. People surrounding us suffer when we steal their energy, and we, ourselves suffer because our control dramas do not allow us to stay connected to the source and follow our path.

Take for instance aloof drama - the aloof person will always keep missing important information by not letting people get near. So if you are aloof and someone on your path carries important message for you, you will shut them out and so they won't be able to deliver the message to you.

The only way to not be affected by control dramas is to learn to recognize them and bring them to consciousness. So if you are dealing with someone with a control drama who is trying to use it to steal your energy you need to recognize what type of drama they are using, then send them energy willingly, thus elliminating the need for them to compete for energy with you, and then bring their drama to consciousness y pointing it out to them. For example if someone telling you about bad things that happened to them and implies that it is your fault those things happened, you know you are dealing with poor me, and in order not to get pulled into their game by becoming intimidator or another poor me, you can say something like "Am I supposed to feel guilty?" or "I can't help feeling that you think I should be feeling guilty?", thus bringing their control drama to consciousness. Remember that control dramas are unconscious and the person guilting you can be completely unaware what they are doing to you. All they know they feel energized when doing what they are doing and they want to keep feeling good so they continue doing the same thing.

Now be prepared that the reaction of the person can be very unexpected and most likely they will not like you bringing their drama to consciousness.

About forgiveness

Many people are struggling with forgiving those who are not sorry. It's the hardest thing to do when the offending person shows no remorse for their actions. The thing is, they do not need your forgiveness half as much as you do, for holding a grudge damages you more than it does anyone else.

The way to forgive a person who is not sorry is to think about what they have done to you and analyze it and figure out what good did their actions bring to you, how did it help to shape you into the person you are today.

Once you will see that whatever was done to you only forced you on the right track of your life and brought you a number of benefits, you will see how your anger and resentment against that person slowly disappearing.

Coincidence or awareness?

I started noticing that I often think of someone only to realize that that someone just sent me an e-mail or text message the moment I thought of them.

For instance today my husband took our son to an appointment and he was supposed to call me when they get out. I was busy at work and did not realize the time and that it has been over an hour past appointment time. My phone was on silent so I went to get it from my desk and saw that my hsband messaged me at 11:19, I looked at the clock and the time was 11:19! So he texted me as I was getting my phone from the desk drawer to check for his call. Then I saw a missed call from him at 11:17 - precisely when I thought of him and thought of checking my phone.

Surround yourself with positive glow

After talking to one of my friends few days ago, I started thinking about popsitive effect of good intentions. One person could give us something with a good intention, and just intention on its own is capable of improving quality of our lives. So just imagine for a second that you are surrounded by many well-meaning people who daily and hourly send you their positive energy and good intentions. Can you imagine how much impact that would make on the quality of your life.

Each one of us has people who irritate and upset them, whether intentionally or unintentionally, whether daily or once in a while. those people could be friends, family or coworker, or even complete strangers. We just never think about how much negative impact the company of those peopel have on us and how much good would come out of just letting those people go and not subject ourselves to their company.

Imagine having regular Sunday brunches with an aunt who constantly nagging you to have more children. Imagine being stuck in her small apartment Sunday after Sunday, listening to her going on and on about the things you are not comfortable with. After all it's you and not her, who will take responsibility and provide care for the children, so why would she keep on nagging? There is no answer to this question and there is nothing you can do to change her. But what you can do is stop coming to those Sunday brunches and instead go somewhere where you will feel much better.



If one positive thought could do wonders, imagine how many miracles would happen if you had 5, 10, 15 people who send you positive energy. The key is to surround yourself with positivity and completely shut out negativity and you will be able to accomplish anything, no limits.


So from now on I will do everything in my power to shut out the negative and will seek company of those souls that provide me with positive feedback I need, and in return I will shower them with positive energy. That's what I call fair exchange. The more they send, the more I will be able to give back and vice versa.


P.S. For years my husband and I subjected ourselves to a non-stop flow of negativity from a family member. We wanted to get away many times but never did - after all he is family. Now that we finally got away and cut all ties, I am slowly starting to feel liek a burden was lifted of my shoulders. Family or not, no one has the right to decrease quality of life for myself as well as my loved ones. I know we deserve better than that

Positivity

Staying positive really does make all the pieces fall together at the right time. Lately I feel like everything I need or want is just handed to me at exactly the right time. For instance the other day I needed the address of a friend in order to send her a Christmas card but didn't want to call her and ask for it. I knew I had her address somewhere but could nto recall where. So I decided to call her in the evening when i get home. And guess what? As soon as I got into the house I saw on the table a Christmas card from her with her address on it:)

Another time I wanted to watch the latest Shrek movie that just came out and there was a long wait to get it through Netflix. i really didn't care about the wait, all I wanted is a chance to watch it with my family on Christmas Eve. But it looked like there was absolutely no way the movie will become available by then. The last netflix delivery was supposed to be today, December 22nd, and I was not even counting on getting the movie before I opened my Netflix account on iPod and saw that the movie was scheduled to be delivered today!

Also tonight my in-laws wee supposed to stop by and I wanted to bake something but didn't feel like baking since I have been sick for the past few days. Then my husband called and said that my mother visited and she brought us my mother-in-law's favorite cookie. So after all I will not have to bake and I will have something baked for tonight:)

Then, last week I found out that a friend of mine is having tough times and Christmas was looking pretty gloomy for her and her kids, so I've decided to send them small presents to cheer them up a bit. That was all I could do, being so far away and all... Since I only had a week left to do so, I placed an order online and prayed the presents will arrive on time. I kept checking e-mail every day to see if the packages have been mailed and there was nothing but I was not worried, somehow I knew that the beautiful things I ordered will be there on time to put smiles on the kids' faces. First package was delivered yesterday, and second one just received update few hours ago stating that it was out for delivery!

I know all those things that make me so happy may seem very small and insignificant to someone else, but being grateful and appreciating every little thing brings more positive energy and bigger and better things into my life.


P.S. Yesterday I read the list of wishes I made two months ago, and it turns out that EVERYTHING on that list came true for me. Literary everything! Including good news about my son't improved hearing! I swear, the little one can hear everything! Even when I wisper to him from the door of his room when he is peacefully sleeping in his crib. I know he can hear even the slightest wispers because he smiles happily in his sleep every time I wisper his name. And if the sleep is not so deep, he opens his eyes and lifts his head. Nothing makes me happier!

"Celestine Prophecy" fourth insight and energy vampires

Today, on my way to work, I was re-reading "Celestine Prophecy" and thinking about the fourth insigt, talking about power struggle and how humans take each others energy in fight for the power.

One of the charaters, Robert Jensen, even had a specific method of getting a hold of someone's energy - first he would gain one's trust by acting as their friend, and then he would find something wrong with what they were doing and as soon as he would plant seeds of doubt in one's mind, it was easy to get the person to follow you. I can't tell you how many time it has happened to me so by now I have become very careful whenever I feel someone probbing into my life, trying to find a weak link.

My own mother is an expert at this method, even though she is not doing that consciously. I guess, what's important to remember is that most people do it unconsciously because it makes them feel empowered.

My mom had a thing of calling me and questioning me to see how i was doing. But instead of friendly "how are you", she would ask me specific questions and make comments leading me to re-think my existence, my circumstances and actions of those around me.

-"How are you, darling?" mom would ask "How's your job?"

-"Good. Everything is good. Want to hear a joke my manager told me?"

-"I wish, instead of telling you jokes he'd raise your salary" mom would say

-"Mom, do you even knopw how much I make? Have I ever complained about money?"

-"No, I don't know and no, you have not complained. Ever"

-"So why are you making such strange comments?"

And she would just laugh and proceed

-"How's Lisa?"

-"Good"

-"Has she called you today?" (???)

-"Actually, no. Why do you ask?"

-"No reason... I guess she is spending time with her OTHER friends... It's probably more fun for her"

-"What are you saying?"

-"Nothing. Has Roberto called you today?"

-"No"

-"yeah, I thought so... He probably find his MALE friends to be more fun. Or he simply forgotten about you..."

At this point I am getting really irritated and start shouting

-"Why are you so mean to me?!!" starts weeping my mom "I simply want to talk to you. I am feeling lonely and I figured why don't I call and talk to my LONELY daughter. I am so sad that your life didn't turn out well"

My life didn't turn out well??!! I have a career, job I love, fun, interesting friends, loving parents, an amazing sister, nice, spacious apartment, new car, closet full of designer labels, a whole bunch of exciting hobbies ranging from meditation to salsa dancing. Oh, and it was never hard for me to meet good men. Not to mention excellent health, good education, and many more other wonderful things. How is that a bad life???

-"Mom, I gotta go"

-"Wait, I just wanted to ask where is that boyfriend of yours?"

-"I don't know mom, I am not his mother nor a cop to keep track of his whereabouts. Sometimes I do my things and he does his. Separately."

-"He obviously does not love you. Otherwise he'd want to be with you every minute of the day. But of course not everyone gets to find someone special. Ok honey, I just wanted to see how were you doing. Bye now"

By then I am all shook up and I have nothing left to do but violently shut my phone closed and hurl it accross the room. Strangely my mom seems content and full of energy.


The conversation took up no more than 7 minutes but the difference between my state of mind before and after is drastic! before mom called I was feeling content, curled up on my couch in front of wide-screen TV with a glass of good wine and a good book. I was listening to the sound of falling rain drops outside, feeling wonderful. And now, after speaking to my mom, here I am, a nervous wreck, feeling abandoned by my friends and the guy I started seeing. I no longer think I have great friends and that I recently met a wonderful man, now all I can think about how he probably does not love me (even though how could he? We only went on a couple of dates so far and I, myself, not sure if he is someone I want to be with), and how my fiends prefer other company (while they could be either sleeping, or at the gym, or spending time with their family or significant others. Neither of which makes them less of a friend to me).

What has happened is that my mom, unconsciouly of course, found a weak link and drained my energy. Typical case on energetic vampire. She has been doing that since I was a child and only now I am starting to recognize that and come up with ways to deal with her negativity. I also learned that the only reason she does that to me because it makes her feel like a concerned loving parent and gives he strong energy boost. Unfortunatelly my mother never learned how to fill herself with energy without draining those around her, but it's not my fault and I should not have to pay for it.


Any energetic vampire is looking for weakness, a hole in your energy through which they could drain you, and if they don't find one, they will move on, so staying strong and staying connected to a source of infinite energy could really make a difference in dealing with such issues. When vampire is someone insignificant in one's life, one can always cut him/her out, but in most cases our vampires are the people close to the heart, the ones that are dear to us. So the only way is to protect your energy and keep yourself connected to the source.

One of excellent ways to protect your energy is imagining a bubble of light surrounding you, shielding you from those trying to deplete your energy. I imagine it every time my mom calls or visits. As I grow stronger and stay more connected, my mom has less and less power to upset me.

Another important point is that it's easy to see when someone trying to deplete your energy, but do we really notice when we ourselves are depleting energy of others?

Staying connected to the source helps us to maintain high energy level without the need to rob our loved ones of their energy. When you are feeling good about yourself, you feel empowered at all times