Many people are struggling with forgiving those who are not sorry. It's the hardest thing to do when the offending person shows no remorse for their actions. The thing is, they do not need your forgiveness half as much as you do, for holding a grudge damages you more than it does anyone else.
The way to forgive a person who is not sorry is to think about what they have done to you and analyze it and figure out what good did their actions bring to you, how did it help to shape you into the person you are today.
Once you will see that whatever was done to you only forced you on the right track of your life and brought you a number of benefits, you will see how your anger and resentment against that person slowly disappearing.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Coincidence or awareness?
I started noticing that I often think of someone only to realize that that someone just sent me an e-mail or text message the moment I thought of them.
For instance today my husband took our son to an appointment and he was supposed to call me when they get out. I was busy at work and did not realize the time and that it has been over an hour past appointment time. My phone was on silent so I went to get it from my desk and saw that my hsband messaged me at 11:19, I looked at the clock and the time was 11:19! So he texted me as I was getting my phone from the desk drawer to check for his call. Then I saw a missed call from him at 11:17 - precisely when I thought of him and thought of checking my phone.
For instance today my husband took our son to an appointment and he was supposed to call me when they get out. I was busy at work and did not realize the time and that it has been over an hour past appointment time. My phone was on silent so I went to get it from my desk and saw that my hsband messaged me at 11:19, I looked at the clock and the time was 11:19! So he texted me as I was getting my phone from the desk drawer to check for his call. Then I saw a missed call from him at 11:17 - precisely when I thought of him and thought of checking my phone.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Surround yourself with positive glow
After talking to one of my friends few days ago, I started thinking about popsitive effect of good intentions. One person could give us something with a good intention, and just intention on its own is capable of improving quality of our lives. So just imagine for a second that you are surrounded by many well-meaning people who daily and hourly send you their positive energy and good intentions. Can you imagine how much impact that would make on the quality of your life.
Each one of us has people who irritate and upset them, whether intentionally or unintentionally, whether daily or once in a while. those people could be friends, family or coworker, or even complete strangers. We just never think about how much negative impact the company of those peopel have on us and how much good would come out of just letting those people go and not subject ourselves to their company.
Imagine having regular Sunday brunches with an aunt who constantly nagging you to have more children. Imagine being stuck in her small apartment Sunday after Sunday, listening to her going on and on about the things you are not comfortable with. After all it's you and not her, who will take responsibility and provide care for the children, so why would she keep on nagging? There is no answer to this question and there is nothing you can do to change her. But what you can do is stop coming to those Sunday brunches and instead go somewhere where you will feel much better.
If one positive thought could do wonders, imagine how many miracles would happen if you had 5, 10, 15 people who send you positive energy. The key is to surround yourself with positivity and completely shut out negativity and you will be able to accomplish anything, no limits.
So from now on I will do everything in my power to shut out the negative and will seek company of those souls that provide me with positive feedback I need, and in return I will shower them with positive energy. That's what I call fair exchange. The more they send, the more I will be able to give back and vice versa.
P.S. For years my husband and I subjected ourselves to a non-stop flow of negativity from a family member. We wanted to get away many times but never did - after all he is family. Now that we finally got away and cut all ties, I am slowly starting to feel liek a burden was lifted of my shoulders. Family or not, no one has the right to decrease quality of life for myself as well as my loved ones. I know we deserve better than that
Each one of us has people who irritate and upset them, whether intentionally or unintentionally, whether daily or once in a while. those people could be friends, family or coworker, or even complete strangers. We just never think about how much negative impact the company of those peopel have on us and how much good would come out of just letting those people go and not subject ourselves to their company.
Imagine having regular Sunday brunches with an aunt who constantly nagging you to have more children. Imagine being stuck in her small apartment Sunday after Sunday, listening to her going on and on about the things you are not comfortable with. After all it's you and not her, who will take responsibility and provide care for the children, so why would she keep on nagging? There is no answer to this question and there is nothing you can do to change her. But what you can do is stop coming to those Sunday brunches and instead go somewhere where you will feel much better.
If one positive thought could do wonders, imagine how many miracles would happen if you had 5, 10, 15 people who send you positive energy. The key is to surround yourself with positivity and completely shut out negativity and you will be able to accomplish anything, no limits.
So from now on I will do everything in my power to shut out the negative and will seek company of those souls that provide me with positive feedback I need, and in return I will shower them with positive energy. That's what I call fair exchange. The more they send, the more I will be able to give back and vice versa.
P.S. For years my husband and I subjected ourselves to a non-stop flow of negativity from a family member. We wanted to get away many times but never did - after all he is family. Now that we finally got away and cut all ties, I am slowly starting to feel liek a burden was lifted of my shoulders. Family or not, no one has the right to decrease quality of life for myself as well as my loved ones. I know we deserve better than that
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Whatever happens, happens for the best
Today I saw again, how everything that happens to us, happens for our own good, even if it does not seem that way at first.
Today I was late for my train and I was very upset since I knew I won't make it to work on time. So I had to wait at the train station and get on the next train.
When my train got to the next stop, a woman got in who told me how previous train stopped and everyone had to get off and wait in the cold for next one.
So if I made it to the earlier train I would have waited in the cold too and then would have to ride standing up because the train was full. And if that woman haven't told me, I would have never known. A lot of times we get upset at thing that happen to us and we never realized that when things don't go our way, it means we have avoided something worse
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Today I was late for my train and I was very upset since I knew I won't make it to work on time. So I had to wait at the train station and get on the next train.
When my train got to the next stop, a woman got in who told me how previous train stopped and everyone had to get off and wait in the cold for next one.
So if I made it to the earlier train I would have waited in the cold too and then would have to ride standing up because the train was full. And if that woman haven't told me, I would have never known. A lot of times we get upset at thing that happen to us and we never realized that when things don't go our way, it means we have avoided something worse
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, January 6, 2011
If they don't understand you...
A fervent Buddhist lady made every effort to love others. But every time she went to the market, a merchant made indecent proposals to her.
One rainy morning, when the man bothered her once again, she lost control and hit him on the face with her umbrella.
That same afternoon, she sought out a monk and told him what had happened.
“I am ashamed,” she said. “I couldn’t control my hate.”
“You did wrong to hate him,” answered the monk. ” But life is about communicating our feelings to each other – and you need to understand that people are different”.
“The next time he says something, fill your heart with goodness.
“And hit him again with your umbrella, because that’s the only language he knows.”
One rainy morning, when the man bothered her once again, she lost control and hit him on the face with her umbrella.
That same afternoon, she sought out a monk and told him what had happened.
“I am ashamed,” she said. “I couldn’t control my hate.”
“You did wrong to hate him,” answered the monk. ” But life is about communicating our feelings to each other – and you need to understand that people are different”.
“The next time he says something, fill your heart with goodness.
“And hit him again with your umbrella, because that’s the only language he knows.”
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Classic Brazilian story: The fisherman and the businessman
There was once a businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Brazilian village.
As he sat, he saw a Brazilian fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore having caught quite few big fish.
The businessman was impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fish?”
The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.”
“Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and catch even more?” The businessman was astonished.
“This is enough to feed my whole family,” the fisherman said.
The businessman then asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day?”
The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fish, then go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I join my buddies in the village for a drink — we play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night.”
The businessman offered a suggestion to the fisherman.
“I am a PhD in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you should spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fish as possible. When you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish. Soon you will be able to afford to buy more boats, set up your own company, your own production plant for canned food and distribution network. By then, you will have moved out of this village and to Sao Paulo, where you can set up HQ to manage your other branches.”
The fisherman continues, “And after that?”
The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, and you will be rich.”
The fisherman asks, “And after that?”
The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning, catch a few fish, then return home to play with kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!”
The fisherman was puzzled, “Isn’t that what I am doing now?”
As he sat, he saw a Brazilian fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore having caught quite few big fish.
The businessman was impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fish?”
The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.”
“Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and catch even more?” The businessman was astonished.
“This is enough to feed my whole family,” the fisherman said.
The businessman then asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day?”
The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fish, then go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I join my buddies in the village for a drink — we play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night.”
The businessman offered a suggestion to the fisherman.
“I am a PhD in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you should spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fish as possible. When you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish. Soon you will be able to afford to buy more boats, set up your own company, your own production plant for canned food and distribution network. By then, you will have moved out of this village and to Sao Paulo, where you can set up HQ to manage your other branches.”
The fisherman continues, “And after that?”
The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, and you will be rich.”
The fisherman asks, “And after that?”
The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning, catch a few fish, then return home to play with kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!”
The fisherman was puzzled, “Isn’t that what I am doing now?”
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Positivity
Staying positive really does make all the pieces fall together at the right time. Lately I feel like everything I need or want is just handed to me at exactly the right time. For instance the other day I needed the address of a friend in order to send her a Christmas card but didn't want to call her and ask for it. I knew I had her address somewhere but could nto recall where. So I decided to call her in the evening when i get home. And guess what? As soon as I got into the house I saw on the table a Christmas card from her with her address on it:)
Another time I wanted to watch the latest Shrek movie that just came out and there was a long wait to get it through Netflix. i really didn't care about the wait, all I wanted is a chance to watch it with my family on Christmas Eve. But it looked like there was absolutely no way the movie will become available by then. The last netflix delivery was supposed to be today, December 22nd, and I was not even counting on getting the movie before I opened my Netflix account on iPod and saw that the movie was scheduled to be delivered today!
Also tonight my in-laws wee supposed to stop by and I wanted to bake something but didn't feel like baking since I have been sick for the past few days. Then my husband called and said that my mother visited and she brought us my mother-in-law's favorite cookie. So after all I will not have to bake and I will have something baked for tonight:)
Then, last week I found out that a friend of mine is having tough times and Christmas was looking pretty gloomy for her and her kids, so I've decided to send them small presents to cheer them up a bit. That was all I could do, being so far away and all... Since I only had a week left to do so, I placed an order online and prayed the presents will arrive on time. I kept checking e-mail every day to see if the packages have been mailed and there was nothing but I was not worried, somehow I knew that the beautiful things I ordered will be there on time to put smiles on the kids' faces. First package was delivered yesterday, and second one just received update few hours ago stating that it was out for delivery!
I know all those things that make me so happy may seem very small and insignificant to someone else, but being grateful and appreciating every little thing brings more positive energy and bigger and better things into my life.
P.S. Yesterday I read the list of wishes I made two months ago, and it turns out that EVERYTHING on that list came true for me. Literary everything! Including good news about my son't improved hearing! I swear, the little one can hear everything! Even when I wisper to him from the door of his room when he is peacefully sleeping in his crib. I know he can hear even the slightest wispers because he smiles happily in his sleep every time I wisper his name. And if the sleep is not so deep, he opens his eyes and lifts his head. Nothing makes me happier!
Another time I wanted to watch the latest Shrek movie that just came out and there was a long wait to get it through Netflix. i really didn't care about the wait, all I wanted is a chance to watch it with my family on Christmas Eve. But it looked like there was absolutely no way the movie will become available by then. The last netflix delivery was supposed to be today, December 22nd, and I was not even counting on getting the movie before I opened my Netflix account on iPod and saw that the movie was scheduled to be delivered today!
Also tonight my in-laws wee supposed to stop by and I wanted to bake something but didn't feel like baking since I have been sick for the past few days. Then my husband called and said that my mother visited and she brought us my mother-in-law's favorite cookie. So after all I will not have to bake and I will have something baked for tonight:)
Then, last week I found out that a friend of mine is having tough times and Christmas was looking pretty gloomy for her and her kids, so I've decided to send them small presents to cheer them up a bit. That was all I could do, being so far away and all... Since I only had a week left to do so, I placed an order online and prayed the presents will arrive on time. I kept checking e-mail every day to see if the packages have been mailed and there was nothing but I was not worried, somehow I knew that the beautiful things I ordered will be there on time to put smiles on the kids' faces. First package was delivered yesterday, and second one just received update few hours ago stating that it was out for delivery!
I know all those things that make me so happy may seem very small and insignificant to someone else, but being grateful and appreciating every little thing brings more positive energy and bigger and better things into my life.
P.S. Yesterday I read the list of wishes I made two months ago, and it turns out that EVERYTHING on that list came true for me. Literary everything! Including good news about my son't improved hearing! I swear, the little one can hear everything! Even when I wisper to him from the door of his room when he is peacefully sleeping in his crib. I know he can hear even the slightest wispers because he smiles happily in his sleep every time I wisper his name. And if the sleep is not so deep, he opens his eyes and lifts his head. Nothing makes me happier!
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