The story of one angel

I wanted to post this small story about this angel statue I had. My husband brought it from somewhere and it was just standing on a window sill for about a year, in our ld apartment.it never really blended in and was clearly out of place. For some reason it never occured to us to give it away and when we bought a condo, we took it with us. There, it being out of place has become more aparent than ever, yet, we still kept it. Finally, after the total of 2 years i have decided to give it away to a better home. So I have this friend in Ireland who has a beautiful daughter named Angelina. My friend collects angels because of the connection to her daughter's name and she asked myself and few others, residing in different countries to send her an angel figurine from each country. Interestingly it happened two days after I have decided the little angel figurine needed a new home. i didn't realize it at first and started thinking of what type of angel to send. Unfortunatelly, (or fortunatelly?) in the states we have an abundance of angel figurines and it would be nearly impossible for me to make a choice. Than I realized I already had an angel figurine. So that's how the angel made it to Ireland. I know there is a reason behind everything that happens so i am very curious as to why the angel figurine was supposed to end up in ireland in my friend's collection.

How to find your path in life

Something interesting happened yesterday that made me think of Celestine Prophecy again and again. I remember reading that finding your path is easy - the path you need to tak will always look more beautiful and brighter in order to attract your attention. So yesterday I got a text message from a friend how she went on a date that turned out pretty bad - she hated the guy and didn't want to be there, but then she went to the bathroom to wash her hands and there was another girl in the bathroom wearing a very interesting skirt. My friend immediately because drawn to the skirt and, being rather extraverted person, she complimented the girl on a forementioned skirt. they got to talking and turned out the girl is into some sort of meditation and she invited my friend to attend this class. I recall my friend saying to me "I would never have spoken to her if I didn't like that skirt so much". So I told her about that chapter of Celestine prophecy and suggested that she should read it. Well, the same day she ordered all the books from the series and got started on Celestine Prophecy right away and got through first two chapters before going to bed. I am excitedly waiting to hear back from her about her further experiences.

How to recognize control dramas

One way to recognize control dramas is to notice how you feel when being with a particular person. If you don't fell energized, uplifted and/or joyful, the chances are your energy might be draining from you. Concentrate on how you feel when dealing with a particular person, do you feel sudden pangs of guilt? Do you feel like you are bad person, friend, child etc.? If any opf the above seems familiar, you are dealing with "Poor me" drama. "Poor me" person is always looking for a handout in one form or the other. They usually have low self-confidence and are looking to get energy from others by blaming or using sad stories. If a person makes you feel guilty, stop and directly ask if that's what they are trying to do. This way you are putting a block on the energy drainage, by bringing their unconscious drama to consciousness. If you are feeling critisized, humiliated and/or put down by a certain person, it's a clear sign they are using Interrogator technique. Interrogators are used to getting energy by convincing someone they are worthless, doing something wrong, leading the wrong type of life etc. They ask you many questions, probing, hoping to find something wrong, or something that can seem wrong to you, so you would start feeling bad about yourself. For Interrogator it is more important to convince you that there is something wrong then actually finding something wrong. When you start feeling like there is something in your life that could be critisized, stop, remind yourself what is really going on and ask the Interrogator something like "So, you are trying to tell me you think something is wrong with that?" Let them know you have noticed their maneur, bring it to consciouness. If what you feel next to a specific person is fear or threat, then you are dealing with Intimidator. the more fear you will feel and show, the more energy the Intimidator will recive. You need to make sure you are not getting aggressive in return or not getting into "Poor me" routine because that will only make situation worse. Instead, ask the Intimidator why he/she is so hostile. Make them conscious of the fact that they are being hostile, then remove yourself from the situation altogether, if you feel any physical threat at all. The last but not least is Aloof control drama which is harder to recognize since the person will show no interest in you or your life in any way, shape, or form. Aloof people thrive on insecurities of others just like Interrogators do but instead of prying, they are getting your energy by making you go after them. Sort of like Hyde from "That seventy's show", when he attracts girls by showing no interest in them "You gotta be zeen, aloof" he tells FEZ. In some cases you might feel like they expected something from you and did not receive it, or you may feel as though something is wrong with you and that's why they are ignoring you. A lot of people with insecurities start feeling awful when someone does not say "hello" to them and will go to great length to find out what is going on. The one thing to watch out for is that a person might just have an aloof personality and not be using any control drama at all. The good thing to do when dealing with Aloof drama is to shift your attention elsewhere. The chances are if they are suing control drama, they will come after you themselves, trying to draw you back into contact so that they could keep on getting the energy. Below is something I found interesting on on internet forum - vices linked to control dramas: Intimidation = Eating of meat, using animal products Interrogation = Gambling Poor Me = Intoxicants Aloof = Illicit Sex - (Sex not for procreation) I found that fascinating since my mom, a typical interrogator has a gambling problem and all intimidators in the family, including myself, are active carnivores:)

The Cake

A little boy is telling his Grandma how "everything" is going wrong...school, family problems, severe health problems, etc. Meanwhile, Grandma is baking a cake. She asks the child if he would like a snack, which of course he does. "Here. Have some cooking oil." "Yuck," says the boy. "How about a couple of raw eggs?" "Gross, Grandma." "Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Grandma, those are all yucky!" To which the Grandma replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

Negativity

These days, it is surprising anyone is able to succeed, given the dynamics of our society. When one has the drive and the will to do something new, something exciting, everyone around just seems to want to discourage him from doing anything that would be considered somewhat risky. For example: marriage, having new baby, changing jobs, considering an entirely different field of work. Whenever a person announces their plans, the closest people seem to have nothing better to do then pour negativity all over the aforementioned plans.

recently a friend of mine announced to her family her desire to continue her studies as a speech pathologist. The reason she decided to do that was because she was not happy in her current line of work, and to me, it seems very sensible to try something different in order to find peace and happiness. That's what I would do. But her family thought otherwise, they reminded her that the money she spent on her education thus far would be wasted. So what's the solution? lead an unhappy life in order to get the money worth it?:) Does not make sense. At all.

My own family suggested that I should move up to management position but I refused because I am very happy where I am and I absolutely loath weekly meetings that are essential to any managerial position, besides, why fix something that's not broke?:) Their rebottle was "But then you will never make really good money!"

-"So what? If I do, I will be working 60 hour weeks and do what I hate. What's the benefit of that?"

-"Margarita does it. She hates it but it pays well"

-"It is her choice. I just want to be happy. What's the benefit of excellent salary if I don't even have time to enjoy the said money?"

-"You can go on really nice vacations with your family"

Oh yeah, in exchange for my son growing up without me and my husband never getting to see me, we will spend 1-2 weeks, at most 3 weeks together at some remote destination where I will be tired and irritable after a very long year of doing what I hate?:) Thank you, but no.

When I decided to remarry, my family tried to stop me and kept giving me reasons not to marry and begging me to wait a couple of years. I didn't listen, I followed my heart instead. As a result, I am finishing up my fifth year of a very happy marriage. Then, on our second year into marriage we wanted to have a baby and once again my family tried to stop us, promising that our life will be over and we will never sleep again. Well, we ended up having a beautiful healthy baby boy who slept through the night (I mean 8-12 hours a night) from the start. He turned out to be a very calm, friendly and easy-going toddler with a very healthy appetite. That didn't reassure anyone, people around me started promising me a very "bright" future: "You just wait! When a child is that good as a baby, he will make trouble for you later on in life. We have seen many children that were problem free in the infancy but later on they went wild. You will cry later."

What's with this "crying later" thing? What is it if not a way to program a person so that if trouble didn't start at the beginning, to expect it to hit hard later? Whatever happened to hope for a better future, not worse??

The other day I told someone how good my 18 month-old toddler is, already helping me on the kitchen. My little son would take out plates and pass them on to me to shelf and also he helps me load the dishwasher and helps out to sort out the laundry. I am amazed not only at his willingness to help but ability to really contribute and make my task easier. And as I am sharing happily, the person says "If you are thinking he will help out later on, you are wrong".

Actually, the children that do not help later on, are the ones who constantly heard "go sit down! don't touch anything!" My little one is used to me gratefully accepting his help and willingly showing him how to do things. this way he makes his contribution to the family and enjoys spending time with his mother while gaining self-esteem from being able to perform useful tasks.


Then another thing - my husband and I decided to go on vacation with our toddler. Well, the only thing we heard so far was "oh, in that case you won't have any rest. Good luck!"
Really?:) We won't have any rest staying in all-inclusive hotel with absolutely nothing to do but spending time with our son? Don't make me laugh. We get to rest at home where there is always cooking, cleaning, and laundry to be done, why would not we rest if all the chores are done for us?

Next thing was when we wanted to take a trip to Israel to see some family and, while in that area, take a 1-2 day excursion to Jordan and 1-2 days to Egypt. The response from people was "Who does that?? 10 days is not enough for Israel. And there are no 1 day trips to Jordan or Egypt."

Well, first of all, 10 days is all we can take off to use on the trip, and as for Jordan and Egypt, I already found 1 to 3 day trips from Eliat. And yes, it's not enough time to see everything, but it sure as hell better than not going at all. Some people never get to go anywhere longer than one week, so what's the solution? Not go?:) Give up hope?:) Come on!

"Alchemist" by Pablo Coelho came to mind. In particular the part where a man who always wanted to travel but never went because he wanted to make money first and travel in comfort. So he worked all his life, putting money away, tied up, unable to leave his business, and finally, at the age of 60 or 80 he took one single trip to Africa. Meanwhile a shepherd without a penny in his pocket, sold his sheep and with what he got from the sale he went around the whole world, getting to see things the old man who worked every day of his miserable life, could not ever dram of seeing.


I refuse to be careful, I refuse to be afraid. I will get what I can from life and sure as hell I will enjoy it.

My advice to all is to stop listening to people around you, stop being frightened of the future, stop creating your own limitations, stop letting others put garbage in your head. Don't let anyone program you for failure, even out of best intentions to "protect" you. Just follow your heart and go for what you want!

The story of two pots - you are good the way you are

An elderly water bearer had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.”
“Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?”

“I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts,” the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.”

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”

The one you feed

An old Cherokee told his grandson, "My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth." The boy thought about it and asked, "Grandfather, which wolf wins?" The old man quietly replied, "The one you feed."

Universe listens

It is incredible how our thoughts materialize and how the Universe delivers us whatever we ask for.

Like the other day I was going over fall clothes for my son and washing and putting away into storage things he won't be wearing for a while and separating all the things he will not be wearing, so I decided to donate to charity those clothes. I posted on Facebook asking my friends if they know of a good local charity where I can donate baby clothes in a good condition and people sent me many responses but I have decided to go with Purple Heart. I searched google for local Purple Heart but their hours were not suitable for me to make a drop off, so i have decided to call them later and see if I can schedule something but I got busy and never did. I never told anyone about what I've decided either.

Two days later I got a card in the mail from ... Purple Heart saying that they will be on our street in 1.5 week to pick up things and whoever wants to donate needs to schedule a pickup online. I looked at the card and it said "Deliver by 09/19/11". And the day when I decided to contact Purple Heart was a Saturday 09/17/11. How amazing is that?

Experiment with control dramas

Yesterday my mother visited us and I decided to use that as an opportunity for experimenting with protecting yourself from control dramas. My mom is the biggest interrogator I have known and every single visit she asks probing questions, trying to get to something my husband or myself are doing wrong as parents.

So in order to avoid irritation and aggravation I have decided to consciously send her energy the minute she walked in throught the door. I thought of her and went over in my mind everything I love about my mom, thinking how beautiful she is and how she keeps herself in a excellent shape in spite of her age, what a great sense of humor she has and how she always tries to do something nice for my husband and I. I saw her as a higher being and not an older grumpy woman and I almost physically could feel the air getting lighter around us.

Well, I must say, it really worked for my mom have not made a single negative comment and did not ask one single question in attempt to reveal anything negative that she could critisize.

It was a first time in a while that I didn't want to break windows after my husband took her to her next destination. I will definitely try the same thing next time I see her or even talk to her.

Control dramas and how to deal with them

There are 4 control dramas people use to get energy from others, 2 aggressive and 2 passive:

Interrogator - asks questions, probing into your life to find something wrong and criticize you for it

Intimidator - threatens you verbally and/or physically to get your energy

Aloof - plays coy and keeps away from people thus forcing them to struggle for your attention

Poor me - telling guilt-inducing stories, blaming others for your problems


The dramas are interconnected in the following way:

Interrogator == Aloof
Intimidator == Poor me

So interrogator creates aloof or another interrogator, and vice versa, and intimidator creates poor me or another intimidator.

For instance someone threatens you and you get scared and try to protect yourself by playing poor me, trying to get the intimidator to feel sorry for you or to feel guilty. obviously, playing aloof will not work when your safety is threatened with brute force. If guilting the intimidator does not work either, you are forced to reply with the same brute force as was brought against you, thus turning into intimidator yourself.

We develop our control dramas unconsciously, based on what we learned from our parents: interrogator parents produce aloof children, and aloof parents - interrogator children.

For example a friend of mine is interrogator - her parents are too busy with their lives and prefer not to communicate much with their daughter, being very aloof. So she had nothing left to do but interrogate them by asking questions and then finding something wrong with their replies to get some attention and energy from them. I, on the other hand am very aloof, I can spend hours in a room full of people without saying a word to anyone. My aloofness resulted from growing up with interrogator mother - she constantly asked me questions about my life and found strange pleasure in finding something wrong. So the only way for me not to get upset was not giving her any details and so the habit was formed. I started believing that the less people know about me, the less they can annoy me.

All four control dramas are harmful to us, as well as those around us. People surrounding us suffer when we steal their energy, and we, ourselves suffer because our control dramas do not allow us to stay connected to the source and follow our path.

Take for instance aloof drama - the aloof person will always keep missing important information by not letting people get near. So if you are aloof and someone on your path carries important message for you, you will shut them out and so they won't be able to deliver the message to you.

The only way to not be affected by control dramas is to learn to recognize them and bring them to consciousness. So if you are dealing with someone with a control drama who is trying to use it to steal your energy you need to recognize what type of drama they are using, then send them energy willingly, thus elliminating the need for them to compete for energy with you, and then bring their drama to consciousness y pointing it out to them. For example if someone telling you about bad things that happened to them and implies that it is your fault those things happened, you know you are dealing with poor me, and in order not to get pulled into their game by becoming intimidator or another poor me, you can say something like "Am I supposed to feel guilty?" or "I can't help feeling that you think I should be feeling guilty?", thus bringing their control drama to consciousness. Remember that control dramas are unconscious and the person guilting you can be completely unaware what they are doing to you. All they know they feel energized when doing what they are doing and they want to keep feeling good so they continue doing the same thing.

Now be prepared that the reaction of the person can be very unexpected and most likely they will not like you bringing their drama to consciousness.

About forgiveness

Many people are struggling with forgiving those who are not sorry. It's the hardest thing to do when the offending person shows no remorse for their actions. The thing is, they do not need your forgiveness half as much as you do, for holding a grudge damages you more than it does anyone else.

The way to forgive a person who is not sorry is to think about what they have done to you and analyze it and figure out what good did their actions bring to you, how did it help to shape you into the person you are today.

Once you will see that whatever was done to you only forced you on the right track of your life and brought you a number of benefits, you will see how your anger and resentment against that person slowly disappearing.

Coincidence or awareness?

I started noticing that I often think of someone only to realize that that someone just sent me an e-mail or text message the moment I thought of them.

For instance today my husband took our son to an appointment and he was supposed to call me when they get out. I was busy at work and did not realize the time and that it has been over an hour past appointment time. My phone was on silent so I went to get it from my desk and saw that my hsband messaged me at 11:19, I looked at the clock and the time was 11:19! So he texted me as I was getting my phone from the desk drawer to check for his call. Then I saw a missed call from him at 11:17 - precisely when I thought of him and thought of checking my phone.

Surround yourself with positive glow

After talking to one of my friends few days ago, I started thinking about popsitive effect of good intentions. One person could give us something with a good intention, and just intention on its own is capable of improving quality of our lives. So just imagine for a second that you are surrounded by many well-meaning people who daily and hourly send you their positive energy and good intentions. Can you imagine how much impact that would make on the quality of your life.

Each one of us has people who irritate and upset them, whether intentionally or unintentionally, whether daily or once in a while. those people could be friends, family or coworker, or even complete strangers. We just never think about how much negative impact the company of those peopel have on us and how much good would come out of just letting those people go and not subject ourselves to their company.

Imagine having regular Sunday brunches with an aunt who constantly nagging you to have more children. Imagine being stuck in her small apartment Sunday after Sunday, listening to her going on and on about the things you are not comfortable with. After all it's you and not her, who will take responsibility and provide care for the children, so why would she keep on nagging? There is no answer to this question and there is nothing you can do to change her. But what you can do is stop coming to those Sunday brunches and instead go somewhere where you will feel much better.



If one positive thought could do wonders, imagine how many miracles would happen if you had 5, 10, 15 people who send you positive energy. The key is to surround yourself with positivity and completely shut out negativity and you will be able to accomplish anything, no limits.


So from now on I will do everything in my power to shut out the negative and will seek company of those souls that provide me with positive feedback I need, and in return I will shower them with positive energy. That's what I call fair exchange. The more they send, the more I will be able to give back and vice versa.


P.S. For years my husband and I subjected ourselves to a non-stop flow of negativity from a family member. We wanted to get away many times but never did - after all he is family. Now that we finally got away and cut all ties, I am slowly starting to feel liek a burden was lifted of my shoulders. Family or not, no one has the right to decrease quality of life for myself as well as my loved ones. I know we deserve better than that

Whatever happens, happens for the best

Today I saw again, how everything that happens to us, happens for our own good, even if it does not seem that way at first.

Today I was late for my train and I was very upset since I knew I won't make it to work on time. So I had to wait at the train station and get on the next train.

When my train got to the next stop, a woman got in who told me how previous train stopped and everyone had to get off and wait in the cold for next one.

So if I made it to the earlier train I would have waited in the cold too and then would have to ride standing up because the train was full. And if that woman haven't told me, I would have never known. A lot of times we get upset at thing that happen to us and we never realized that when things don't go our way, it means we have avoided something worse


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

If they don't understand you...

A fervent Buddhist lady made every effort to love others. But every time she went to the market, a merchant made indecent proposals to her.

One rainy morning, when the man bothered her once again, she lost control and hit him on the face with her umbrella.

That same afternoon, she sought out a monk and told him what had happened.
“I am ashamed,” she said. “I couldn’t control my hate.”

“You did wrong to hate him,” answered the monk. ” But life is about communicating our feelings to each other – and you need to understand that people are different”.

“The next time he says something, fill your heart with goodness.
“And hit him again with your umbrella, because that’s the only language he knows.”

Classic Brazilian story: The fisherman and the businessman

There was once a businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Brazilian village.
As he sat, he saw a Brazilian fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore having caught quite few big fish.
The businessman was impressed and asked the fisherman, “How long does it take you to catch so many fish?”
The fisherman replied, “Oh, just a short while.”
“Then why don’t you stay longer at sea and catch even more?” The businessman was astonished.
“This is enough to feed my whole family,” the fisherman said.
The businessman then asked, “So, what do you do for the rest of the day?”
The fisherman replied, “Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fish, then go back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I take a nap with my wife, and evening comes, I join my buddies in the village for a drink — we play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night.”

The businessman offered a suggestion to the fisherman.
“I am a PhD in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you should spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fish as possible. When you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish. Soon you will be able to afford to buy more boats, set up your own company, your own production plant for canned food and distribution network. By then, you will have moved out of this village and to Sao Paulo, where you can set up HQ to manage your other branches.”

The fisherman continues, “And after that?”
The businessman laughs heartily, “After that, you can live like a king in your own house, and when the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange, and you will be rich.”
The fisherman asks, “And after that?”
The businessman says, “After that, you can finally retire, you can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning, catch a few fish, then return home to play with kids, have a nice afternoon nap with your wife, and when evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!”
The fisherman was puzzled, “Isn’t that what I am doing now?”

Positivity

Staying positive really does make all the pieces fall together at the right time. Lately I feel like everything I need or want is just handed to me at exactly the right time. For instance the other day I needed the address of a friend in order to send her a Christmas card but didn't want to call her and ask for it. I knew I had her address somewhere but could nto recall where. So I decided to call her in the evening when i get home. And guess what? As soon as I got into the house I saw on the table a Christmas card from her with her address on it:)

Another time I wanted to watch the latest Shrek movie that just came out and there was a long wait to get it through Netflix. i really didn't care about the wait, all I wanted is a chance to watch it with my family on Christmas Eve. But it looked like there was absolutely no way the movie will become available by then. The last netflix delivery was supposed to be today, December 22nd, and I was not even counting on getting the movie before I opened my Netflix account on iPod and saw that the movie was scheduled to be delivered today!

Also tonight my in-laws wee supposed to stop by and I wanted to bake something but didn't feel like baking since I have been sick for the past few days. Then my husband called and said that my mother visited and she brought us my mother-in-law's favorite cookie. So after all I will not have to bake and I will have something baked for tonight:)

Then, last week I found out that a friend of mine is having tough times and Christmas was looking pretty gloomy for her and her kids, so I've decided to send them small presents to cheer them up a bit. That was all I could do, being so far away and all... Since I only had a week left to do so, I placed an order online and prayed the presents will arrive on time. I kept checking e-mail every day to see if the packages have been mailed and there was nothing but I was not worried, somehow I knew that the beautiful things I ordered will be there on time to put smiles on the kids' faces. First package was delivered yesterday, and second one just received update few hours ago stating that it was out for delivery!

I know all those things that make me so happy may seem very small and insignificant to someone else, but being grateful and appreciating every little thing brings more positive energy and bigger and better things into my life.


P.S. Yesterday I read the list of wishes I made two months ago, and it turns out that EVERYTHING on that list came true for me. Literary everything! Including good news about my son't improved hearing! I swear, the little one can hear everything! Even when I wisper to him from the door of his room when he is peacefully sleeping in his crib. I know he can hear even the slightest wispers because he smiles happily in his sleep every time I wisper his name. And if the sleep is not so deep, he opens his eyes and lifts his head. Nothing makes me happier!

"Celestine Prophecy" fourth insight and energy vampires

Today, on my way to work, I was re-reading "Celestine Prophecy" and thinking about the fourth insigt, talking about power struggle and how humans take each others energy in fight for the power.

One of the charaters, Robert Jensen, even had a specific method of getting a hold of someone's energy - first he would gain one's trust by acting as their friend, and then he would find something wrong with what they were doing and as soon as he would plant seeds of doubt in one's mind, it was easy to get the person to follow you. I can't tell you how many time it has happened to me so by now I have become very careful whenever I feel someone probbing into my life, trying to find a weak link.

My own mother is an expert at this method, even though she is not doing that consciously. I guess, what's important to remember is that most people do it unconsciously because it makes them feel empowered.

My mom had a thing of calling me and questioning me to see how i was doing. But instead of friendly "how are you", she would ask me specific questions and make comments leading me to re-think my existence, my circumstances and actions of those around me.

-"How are you, darling?" mom would ask "How's your job?"

-"Good. Everything is good. Want to hear a joke my manager told me?"

-"I wish, instead of telling you jokes he'd raise your salary" mom would say

-"Mom, do you even knopw how much I make? Have I ever complained about money?"

-"No, I don't know and no, you have not complained. Ever"

-"So why are you making such strange comments?"

And she would just laugh and proceed

-"How's Lisa?"

-"Good"

-"Has she called you today?" (???)

-"Actually, no. Why do you ask?"

-"No reason... I guess she is spending time with her OTHER friends... It's probably more fun for her"

-"What are you saying?"

-"Nothing. Has Roberto called you today?"

-"No"

-"yeah, I thought so... He probably find his MALE friends to be more fun. Or he simply forgotten about you..."

At this point I am getting really irritated and start shouting

-"Why are you so mean to me?!!" starts weeping my mom "I simply want to talk to you. I am feeling lonely and I figured why don't I call and talk to my LONELY daughter. I am so sad that your life didn't turn out well"

My life didn't turn out well??!! I have a career, job I love, fun, interesting friends, loving parents, an amazing sister, nice, spacious apartment, new car, closet full of designer labels, a whole bunch of exciting hobbies ranging from meditation to salsa dancing. Oh, and it was never hard for me to meet good men. Not to mention excellent health, good education, and many more other wonderful things. How is that a bad life???

-"Mom, I gotta go"

-"Wait, I just wanted to ask where is that boyfriend of yours?"

-"I don't know mom, I am not his mother nor a cop to keep track of his whereabouts. Sometimes I do my things and he does his. Separately."

-"He obviously does not love you. Otherwise he'd want to be with you every minute of the day. But of course not everyone gets to find someone special. Ok honey, I just wanted to see how were you doing. Bye now"

By then I am all shook up and I have nothing left to do but violently shut my phone closed and hurl it accross the room. Strangely my mom seems content and full of energy.


The conversation took up no more than 7 minutes but the difference between my state of mind before and after is drastic! before mom called I was feeling content, curled up on my couch in front of wide-screen TV with a glass of good wine and a good book. I was listening to the sound of falling rain drops outside, feeling wonderful. And now, after speaking to my mom, here I am, a nervous wreck, feeling abandoned by my friends and the guy I started seeing. I no longer think I have great friends and that I recently met a wonderful man, now all I can think about how he probably does not love me (even though how could he? We only went on a couple of dates so far and I, myself, not sure if he is someone I want to be with), and how my fiends prefer other company (while they could be either sleeping, or at the gym, or spending time with their family or significant others. Neither of which makes them less of a friend to me).

What has happened is that my mom, unconsciouly of course, found a weak link and drained my energy. Typical case on energetic vampire. She has been doing that since I was a child and only now I am starting to recognize that and come up with ways to deal with her negativity. I also learned that the only reason she does that to me because it makes her feel like a concerned loving parent and gives he strong energy boost. Unfortunatelly my mother never learned how to fill herself with energy without draining those around her, but it's not my fault and I should not have to pay for it.


Any energetic vampire is looking for weakness, a hole in your energy through which they could drain you, and if they don't find one, they will move on, so staying strong and staying connected to a source of infinite energy could really make a difference in dealing with such issues. When vampire is someone insignificant in one's life, one can always cut him/her out, but in most cases our vampires are the people close to the heart, the ones that are dear to us. So the only way is to protect your energy and keep yourself connected to the source.

One of excellent ways to protect your energy is imagining a bubble of light surrounding you, shielding you from those trying to deplete your energy. I imagine it every time my mom calls or visits. As I grow stronger and stay more connected, my mom has less and less power to upset me.

Another important point is that it's easy to see when someone trying to deplete your energy, but do we really notice when we ourselves are depleting energy of others?

Staying connected to the source helps us to maintain high energy level without the need to rob our loved ones of their energy. When you are feeling good about yourself, you feel empowered at all times

That Which Never Dies

A woman's husband died. She was young, had only one child. She wanted to commit sati, she wanted to jump in the funeral pyre with her husband, but this small child prevented her. She had to live for this small child.

But then the small child died; now it was too much. She went almost insane, asking people, "Is there any physician anywhere who can make my child alive again? I was living only for him, now my whole life is simply dark." It happened that Buddha was coming to the town, so people said, "You take the child to Buddha. Tell him that you were living for this child, and the child has died, and ask him, 'You are such a great enlightened person, call him back to life! Have mercy on me!'"

So she went to Buddha. She put the dead body of the child at Buddha's feet and she said, "Call him back to life. You know all the secrets of life, you have attained to the ultimate peak of existence. Can't you do a small miracle for a poor woman?"

Buddha said, "I will do it, but there is a condition."

She said, "I will fulfill any condition."

Buddha said, "The condition is, you go around the town and from a house where nobody has ever died, bring a few mustard seeds."

The woman could not understand the strategy. She went to one house, and they said, "A few mustard seeds? We can bring a few bullock carts full of mustard seeds if Buddha can bring your son back to life. But we have seen so many deaths in our family...." It was a small village, and she went to every house. Everybody was ready: "How many seeds do you want?" But the condition was impossible because they had all seen so many deaths in their families....

By the evening she understood that whoever is born is going to die, so what is the point of getting the child back again? "He will die again. It is better for you yourself to seek the eternal, which is never born and never dies." She came back, empty-handed.

Buddha asked, "Where are the mustard seeds?" She laughed. In the morning she had come crying; now she laughed, and she said, "You tricked me! Everybody who is born is going to die. There is no family in the whole world where nobody has died. So I don't want my son to be brought again back to life--what is the point? Forget about the child. Initiate me into the art of meditation so that I can go into the land, the space of immortality, where birth and death have never happened."

Blessings in Disguise

A man had a very beautiful horse, and the horse was so rare that even emperors had asked the man to sell it--whatsoever the price--but he refused. Then one morning he found that the horse had been stolen.

The whole village gathered to sympathize, and they said, "How unfortunate! You could have got a fortune--people were offering so much. You were stubborn and you were stupid. Now the horse is stolen."

But the old man laughed; he said, "Don't talk nonsense! Only say that the horse is no more in the stable. Let the future come, then we will see."

And it happened that after fifteen days the horse came back, and not only alone--it brought a dozen wild horses with it from the forest. The whole village gathered, and they said, "The old man was right! His horse is back and has brought twelve beautiful horses with him. Now he can earn as much money as he wants." They went to the man and they said, "Sorry. We could not understand the future and the ways of god, but you are great! You knew something about it; you have some glimpse of the future."

He said, "Nonsense! All that I know now is that the horse has come back with twelve horses--what is going to happen tomorrow, nobody knows."

And the next day it happened that the old man's only son was trying to break in a new horse and he fell, and his legs were broken. The whole town gathered again and they said, "One never knows--you were right; this proved to be a curse. It would have been better that the horse had not come back. Now your son will remain crippled for his whole life."

The old man said, "Don't jump ahead! Just wait and see what happens. Only say this much, that my son has broken his legs--that's all."

It happened after fifteen days that all the young men of the town were forcibly taken away by the government because the country was going to war. Only this old man's son was left, because he was of no use. Everybody gathered--they said, "Our sons are gone! At least you have your son. Maybe he is crippled, but he is here! Our sons are gone, and the enemy is far stronger; they are all going to be murdered. In our old age we will have nobody to look after us, but you at least have your son and maybe he will be cured."

But the old man said, "Say only this much--that your sons have been taken by the government. My son has been left, but there is no conclusion."

Just state the fact! Don't think of anything as a curse or a blessing. Don't interpret it, and suddenly you will see that everything is beautiful.